Protecting Your Kids from Sex Abuse

It’s not easy to listen to the disgusting details coming out in the Penn State and Syracuse sex abuse cases.  We’d like to believe that incidents like this happen to people we don’t know and the perpetrator is some “bad guy.”  Unfortunately the reality is we probably know someone who has been abused and the “bad guy” is someone we’d least suspect.   

According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, about 1 out of 5 girls and 1 out of 10 boys will be sexually abused during their childhood.  And the vast majority of child abusers are trusted relatives, friends or authority figures in our child’s life. 

While discussing sex abuse with your child might be uncomfortable, it’s a conversation that needs to start early and continue throughout their adolescence.   

Don’t make assumptions – You might think your child understands that inappropriate touching by an older person is wrong but that’s not necessarily the case.  Be sure to teach your child the appropriate words for all of their body parts and that it isn’t “bad” or “dirty” to discuss this with you. 

Always believe your child – This might sound obvious, but when the allegation of sex abuse is against a new step-parent, grandfather or sibling the immediate inclination is to deny.  Your child needs to know that it’s safe to tell you and that you will protect them and believe them no matter what. 

It’s OK to say no!  - Generations of kids have been taught to respect their elders.  A teacher, coach, neighbor or family member who is an abuser will intimidate a child into not discussing the abuse for fear they will not be believed, something bad will happen to the abuser or to the victim’s family.  The abuser will offer gifts and special treats.  It’s up to you to teach your child that no one is allowed to touch them in a way that makes them feel uncomfortable and it’s OK to say no to anyone! 

Know your community – Check the National SexOffenders Public Website to be sure that no one in your area is listed.  Check with all afterschool activities and daycare facilities that your child attends to be sure they do thorough background checks on all of their employees. 

Kids need to understand that most adults are not going to abuse them but that it is not appropriate for any adult to ask to be their friend or keep secrets.  If anyone makes them feel bad, uncomfortable or scared with their words or actions they should tell you immediately. 

Related Articles
Is your teen in danger of being threatened with “sextortion?” What every parent needs to know!
Keeping Kids Safe Online
Sexual Assault - What It Really Is And How To Protect Yourself  

• Tweet